Every End, is also a Beginning

Hey there! It's been a while!

I've been meaning for the whole month of August to come on here and finish this up, but life got a little..... crazy. I'll start back at the beginning.

My trip home went very smoothly, I didn't miss my flight in Madrid (yay!!!!) and both flights were easy ones. I didn't sleep at all again this time. If you're planning on taking a trans-Atlantic flight, I do not recommend Iberia. Let me put it this way, a guy in front of me was asking someone behind him what Iberia meant in English and I jumped into the conversation with, "cramped and always late!" And that's exactly what all of my flights with them were, though because I made my second flight, punctuality wasn't too big of an issue for the last one, thank goodness.

My parents were waiting for me on the other side of baggage and customs at the International Terminal at O’Hare, complete with huge hugs, smiles and balloons. It was incredible to see them, and it almost didn't feel like I had been gone for two months. I called my host mom, Gudrun in Berlin to let her know that I had landed safely and then we all went home.

The next week was such a whirlwind, I turned 21 at midnight the night I got home and went out for a rather subdued (well, compared to some) celebration with my best friend Cathi, my friend and her boyfriend Alex, and her roommate Brian. It was really nice to celebrate my birthday with people I've known since high school and before. We went to TGI Fridays where Cathi bar tends. Shots and drinks were had and then we went back to Cathi's to continue the celebration. I think I passed out from exhaustion by 1:30 at the latest. I had been awake and waiting over thirty hours for my birthday what with all the time changes I had gone through!

I got to see Nick, my boyfriend for the first time on my birthday, I went to visit him in the city, and it was very good to see him. We had lots to talk about, and a spectacular birthday dinner to eat.

Two days later, my parents and I left to meet my brother and his girlfriend, Hannah, in Las Vegas. If you've never been there, you need to go, it's one of the most surreal cities I've ever been to. We stayed in The Flamingo, and visited almost every hotel on the strip. My brother and Hannah and I rode the roller coaster at NY NY, and my gift from my brother was tickets to Ka, the Cirque du Solei show, which was absolutely incredible. We all liked it so much that we went and got tickets to go and see Mystier, one of the other Cirque shows the next night!

My parents took me on my first gondola ride at the Venetian, which was so much fun. Our gondolier sang for us in Italian, including Happy Birthday. Being in the Venetian was one of the most surreal and odd experiences of that whole trip. It's set up as a smaller carbon copy of Venice, the city I can say is my favorite place on earth other than home, and the ache of missing it is still fresh. Being there and.... not being there was a rather strange feeling.

I think though, despite all of the glitz and glamour of all the surroundings, I think my favorite memories of the entire trip were when we would all just be laying in the pool. We'd all be sitting with margaritas or drinks of choice (hey! 9am in Vegas is FIVE o'clock in Berlin!) and talking or floating. I got to spend hours just talking to my parents, precious moments that these days happen all too few. I got to hang out with my brother.... something that hasn't happened in almost two or three years. His girlfriend was really nice too, I hope she sticks around, I like her. But it probably is the conversations and moments with my Mom and Dad that stick out as the ones that mean the most to me. I love them beyond measure, and that vacation was exactly what I needed between being away and moving downtown. It brought us closer together and helped us to speak more openly with each other, a gift above all else.

And then, it was back to reality, and my entire month of August was taken up with my job downtown here in Chicago. I'm the desk staff supervisor of the front desk at the newest residence hall on the UIC campus. My days were filled with hiring, training, scheduling, troubleshooting and doing everything and anything that did not fall under my job description but that needed to get done nonetheless. I still have about eight more employees that I need to train, which will bring me up to about 22 people working under me. Hopefully that will be enough. It's been a ridiculous whirlwind that has made me feel capable, but drained me so much and made it almost impossible to focus on other areas of my life.

Classes started this week, and my life should finally begin to settle down to a dull roar, I hope, and then I can begin to think on other things that are of importance, finishing finding homes for all the stuff I unpacked a month ago in my new apartment, studying, friends in my life - both here and far away and connecting with them again, seeing my parents more often, going on some dates with Nick and strengthening our bond, figuring out how my classes will affect my major and date of graduation, calling up my sister's family for all their birthdays and as always, my ever-present work will still be there with phone calls and problems at inopportune moments.

Through out all of this, the memories of this summer weave their way into my daily life. It is small reminders every single day that make me smile nostalgically and pause in whatever I'm doing. I miss Berlin, I miss Europe. I miss the people from over there, my friends most of all. I miss the food, and have brought some of the things I ate over there into my apartment with me. There are ever-present bottles of balsamic and olive oil on my cupboard. The picture of us rafting down the river on the Poland/Slovak boarder is framed and on my window seat. My Italia scarf will soon be gracing the wall above my desk, there are four types of currency scattered on my coffee table, and my mask from Venice is in my kitchen where I can see it every single day. I have been changed by this summer, and the memories of it will always be with me. I'm slowly working every lesson I learned into my life here at home, I'm hoping that I can soon completely bind this summer together with life here, it's been difficult, but I'm hopeful. Not a day goes by that I don't longingly think of Venezia.

Lastly, but most importantly, must come the gratitude for you, those who read along and shared my journey with me my whole summer. Those I knew about and who left comments and those who didn't. I've heard about you all through the grapevine of people who passed my blog address off to others and that you've enjoyed it. To everyone who read this, thank you. I can't say it enough, because it meant so much to me that throughout my travels, especially the ones in which I was, or was feeling the most alone, I never truly was because there were people waiting to hear about 'what happened next!' including those who have been badgering me to finish this up. Thank you for your patience.

Traveling to me has never been just a luxury, it is something that is apart of life, that needs to be done. I hope that my life will consist of being on the move and seeing new sights and new places. The more I travel though, teaches me how nice it is to have a place to come home to, with people who love me. I hope I will always be lucky enough to surround myself with people who smile at my crazy adventures, and are willing to welcome me back with open arms. Who knows, maybe they'll even start coming along!

If you've ever thought about doing something crazy like I did this summer or even just a trip to one of the cities that I've been too and would like some pointers, advice or a good restaurant to have dinner in, don't hesitate to get in contact with me (silverwanderlust@gmail.com). If you can dream about doing it, it's possible. I've had a dream of backpacking Europe since I was eight years old. Dream, fulfilled.

Missing those far away, Gratitude to so many, and Love to all,

Miranda

Keep a Weather Eye on the Horizon

I'm coming home!!

By this time tomorrow, baring any foul-ups in transportation, I will have been on American soil for two hours!

It's been a weekend of goodbyes, seeing Jessica off on her train to Paris and Adj off on his plane to Salzberg. It was hard, to say good bye, but we're all going to keep in touch and remain close. They've both become amazing friends of mine, and while we've had our rough patches, I'm glad I have memories of gallavanting around to different European cities with them.

Many people from IES are doing all of their travelling now, it's been funny to listen to all of their plans. Some have an entire semester here ahead of them in Europe, others will be heading home in a week or two. I hope to keep in touch with many of them. I extended many invitations to people to visit me in Chicago, and I truly hope they take me up on it.

As for me? I begin this trip as I started it: alone. But, maybe.... not as alone as it seems. I have my host family, who I've become quite close with in the last week. I walked into the apartment this evening to find a miniature Jack Sparrow, complete with beaded hangers from the bandana, a drawn on beard, sword and pirate pistol. Leo and Gudrun went today to see Pirates and apparently it warrented dressing up. He's the coolest ten year old I know. I also have someone I know on my first plane to Madrid, which will be nice.

I am going to miss Berlin. I am going to desperatly miss speaking German so much, being surrounded by the language, hearing it around me, reading it in the newspaper and on advertisments. If you're able, spricht Deutsch zu mir? (Speak German to me? haha) There's going to be a lot of things I miss about Europe in general as well. It's become no longer a possiblity that I will be coming back, it is a given.

There is however, things I miss from home, most of it people. I have lots of things to do when I get home (celebrate my 21st birthday for one, catch up on my WORK for another. Auugh.) and I'm also jetting off to Vegaaaas for four days with my parents. :)

I've realized so much about myself on this trip. It has dragged the very best and worst in my out into the open for me to stare right in the face. I have things I need to change, but I am also quite certain now about the things that I love about me.... and those are here to stay.

I'll post again when I get home, and maybe one more after that to just give you a wrap up and tell about Vegas and how all is going. To all my readers, especially those who have been their since the very beginning, thank you for sticking with me.

Love to all at Home,
*Miranda

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
I'm fine baby, how are you?
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home

Let me go home
I''m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you

Last Friday here in Berlin.

It's been a rather terrible week here on this side of the pond, but at least I'm mostly done with classes. I'm having some issues getting my final paper to my professor, but hopefully those will iron themselves out.

I've got some of my stuff all packed up and I need to go shopping for some last minute Berlin souvenirs for the family and do one more load of laundry. My flight out to Madrid is at 7am Monday morning, and for the first leg I'll be on the same plane as Nicola, one of the other girls from my program. Maybe we'll even get to sit together.

I get into O'Hare around 2pm on Monday, and it will be so nice to see my parents there waiting for me. I was talking with a friend here the other day about how I'm probably one of the last generations of travellers that can remember being met or dropped off at the gate. When we flew when I was little, or during the time that my father lived in different state from my mom and I, all our trips to the airport would consist of going in and sitting with the person by their gate until they boarded their plane. I can remember my brother and Linda meeting us when we went to California when I was in Kindergarten, my Mom was hugging the strange man with long hair (Michael, the bro) that I didn't recognize as soon as we stepped out of the boarding walkway. I think that because I grew up with that, it has had an influence on how I think travel should go. It's an interesting affectation of mine that one of the most important things in the world to me is being met by someone after I've traveled. That is one of the most meaningful things that someone can do for me. How funny, eh? Even when I know that no one will be there, I always look around the airport, or train station, to see if someone took the time or cared enough to surprise me.

I think we got on this subject because of Schöenfeld airport, the one I've done most of my flying into and out of on this trip is set up so that when you go to leave the secure terminal you walk through a set of frosted automatic doors and there is always a crowd of people that jump or look really excited, thinking maybe it's their loved one that is coming through. The last time I went through (after I looked around, of course) I remember thinking that the next time I fly, there will be someone waiting for me. I guess it was a warm feeling....

Alright, I have to go to my dinner. I'm hungry, I took my host brother, Leo to the pool in our neighborhood today. I've just been trying to keep busy to keep my mind occupied with things other than all that's floating around in it. It's just been a rough week.

Love to all at Home, three days.
*Miranda

Roma, Roma, Roma!

Rome was absolutely incredible. Seeing the sites that I've only ever seen in history books was surreal, to say the least. The hardest part for me to grasp was the lenght of time it took to build some of these fantastic structures, and the amount of manpower that went into it. Walking through Rome is like taking a stroll through time, you'll be walking by some 18th century buildings and then turn a corner and suddenly there is a Roman ruin - and the whole city is like that. One of the really great things for me was the fact that I know a lot of this history and mythology behind the ruins and temples, so seeing them in person was a lot of fun. I spent a lot of time recounting to Adj, the mythology behind each temple, all of the stories of the Gods and Goddesses, the myth of Romulus and Remus and how Rome came to be.... it was 'Superfluous Knowledge with Miranda' time. We got to see the Coliseum and the Circus Maximus - where Genesis and Phil Collins were playing a concert Saturday night - and the Pantheon. The last probably was my favorite. It's almost hidden in the middle of all of these buildings, you're walking through narrow passages far from any main road and all of a sudden this square opens up and you just stop and stare. I got to see it at night and by day. We saw the Piazza de Spagna, where the Spanish Steps are and we also went to the Vatican. That.... was definitely the experience of a lifetime.

We waited in line and then took the lift and then 330 steps up to the top of the cupola on the Basillica of St. Peters. The view of Rome was breathtaking. I think I took about 100 pictures from all the way around, trying to capture everything that I could see. Being inside Vatican was very thought provoking for me. It could be just a side effect of being in one of the holiest places on earth, but I took about ten minutes to sit down and sift through all that was in my head in the small prayer chapel.

That night Adj and I walked around and ate dinner between the Spanish Steps and the Pantheon and then he wanted to go to Piazza Navona so we headed west from the Pantheon, me with the map leading the way. It was dark by this time and when we found the Piazza it was all lite up by the amber colored street lights. There are beautiful fountains at each end and a statued obelisk in the middle that was being restored. There were performers and tourists and artists looking to draw your portrait everywhere. On the southern side of the Piazza there was a big open area and I was drawn to the sound of drums and singing. The music was coming from a group of Hare Krishna’s who were smiling and dancing and playing music, clothed in their brightly colored saris and scarves. The music was so catchy and irresistible that I found myself smiling and tapping my feet to the beat. One of the women saw me and smiled, reaching out her hand to me and I allowed myself to be pulled away from Adj's side and into their dance. It took a few seconds but I caught onto the steps and danced and spun along side the women and the few other tourists that had joined in. My new skirt that I had bought the day before was the perfect thing to be wearing as it flared out around me as I spun, clapping to the beat. The women and I laughed and got lost in the music until it came to an end. I felt regretful as I had to stop dancing and back away, returning to Adj and smiling a huge smile as I told him how amazing that had been. "Funny," I said, "Those are the people my mother always told me to avoid in the mall."

Adj and I had an amazing time, our hostel was really great and because Adj can get by in Italian and is an Italian citizen, we got a lot of special treatment. I was truly sad to be leaving Italy - again - but comforted by the fact that I know I'll be back. That isn't even an option for me.

And now? Back to reality here in Berlin. It is my last week in Europe and I have so much to do. I have to figure out how I'm going to pack everything, including the 5 bajillion presents that I have purchased. I have a ten minute presentation tomorrow and a five page paper due along with two exams on Thursday. I'm taking Leo, my host brother and a friend to see Harry Potter auf Deutsch (in German) tomorrow and I have to prepare myself to say goodbye to all of my friends here. It's going to be an insanely busy week.

Love to all at home, One week left,
*Miranda

well, you know what they say...

This is going to be a short post because it is quite late and I have to be up in less than four hours.

To recap....

Madrid, was absolutely amazing. The architecture is beautiful, all of the buildings give you this feeling that you are some place 'exotic'. The weather was absolutely amazing and the fact that on Saturday we had access to a pool absolutely sealed the deal. The reason we had access to a pool was because for Saturday into Sunday, Jessica, Adj and I stayed in a five star (*****) hotel. Adj's family was traveling around Spain and we met up with them for Saturday and Sunday. They are an amazing family, generous to a fault and extremely friendly. I had a great time talking with his parents about politics, religion and art and joking around with his younger brother Stefano (don't you dare think StefANo. It's STEFano. Damnit.) All in all, Madrid was incredible. I highly recommend it if you're thinking about traveling around Europe. I'd get into more detail, but like I said, a little pressed for time.

I went and saw Harry Potter last night at the original language theater in Potsdammer Platz here in Berlin. It was AWESOME. I think it is the best of the movies so far. Hopefully I"ll be getting the book here in Berlin for the plane ride home. Funny story: I was craving an Icee in the theater so I went out to the concession stands before the movie to fulfill my cravings. Guess what... NO Icees. I stood there looking lost for a moment, when something caught my eye. Smiling devilishly I knew I had found my movie beverage, paid for it and walked back into the theater. Jessica gave me an incredulous stare and Adj almost fell out of his seat he was laughing so hard. "I'd expect nothing less," he informed me. I raised my wine glass in toast to him as I poured myself a drink from the small bottle I had purchased. Alcohol is sold everywhere from Burger King to movie theaters here in Europe, and you know what they say... when in Rome...

Speaking of which... I need to go to bed because my flight for Rome leaves in less than seven hours. Back to Italy for me!

Love to all at home,
Miranda

Ride along these empty streets/ Wind's blowing, no shoes on my feet

Alright, for the past week and a half or so I've been alluding to a blog post that I've wanted to write forever. It's something I wrote first in my book (diary and journal sound too cliché) on a train to Prague with the purpose of putting it up here. It's about one of the first nights of my trip and for some reason I think that it will give you, my amazing readers, a personal glimpse into this trip, my thoughts and how I feel about it. It's a bit long, but I hope entertaining. Feel free to leave your thoughts (as always). This one is important to me, and rather personal so I hope you enjoy it.


The train is late, but at this point in my travels, punctuality is not to be expected. I alternate between wearily pacing the train platform and ponderously extricating myself from my bags and sitting on top of them.

It's Sunday night-no, Monday morning and I haven't truly slept since 8:30 Saturday morning when I woke up at home, ready to begin my adventures. My flights were cramped and uncomfortable and I dozed no more than three or so hours in catnaps of thirty minutes or less.

Another announcement blares over the loudspeaker and I strain to understand, the echoes bouncing around the glass and steel of this cavernous station make it difficult for me to discern any key words that might yield understanding. I realize it to be a fruitless effort and turn to the two men standing near me. "Entschuldigung, bitte. Mein Deutsch ist nicht so gut. Was hat dass gesagen?" (Excuse me, please. My German is not very good, what did that say?) One of them smiles and replies,

"Die Zug kommt in fünfzehn minuten. (The train comes in fifteen minutes) Fifteen minutes." He clarifies unnecessarily.

"Vielen dank, thank you very much!" I say, smiling at his switch to slightly halting English. We strike up a short conversation about where I'm from and the pitfalls of tardy transportation. I attempt to sustain it mainly in German for the benefit of his friend whom it appears, speaks no English. My German is rusty and I'm nervous so it's difficult. After a few minutes I thank them again and move a little bit away. For the rest of the fifteen minutes the first man will turn towards my direction and repeat the wait time in English.

I'm immersed in my thoughts as I wait, as I have been ever since I left my parents at security in O'hare Airport. My mother was crying and my father's eyes were shining. I know they are more afraid for me on this trip then they ever let on, I just hope along with thinking I am absolutely outside my mind, they are proud of me as well.

I look over at the two men and think about how much these little snippets of conversation with strangers has come to mean to me. I've never been this alone in my life and with all of the travel problems I've had, I'm more aware of it than ever.

There was no one to tell me what I needed to do when I missed my connection in Madrid; no one there to offer advice when I landed in Berlin, having missed my train due to the later flight, with no where to stay and absolutely no one I knew within 1,000 miles. Sitting on the bus from the airport with two months worth of luggage on my back and no idea what to do... I can't remember ever being that uncertain or that off balance in my entire life. Afraid might be a better description, if I were to be completely honest with myself.

I am jolted out of my revere by the announcement of the train's impending arrival. Shifting all of my packs I feel a sense of exhausted relief and anticipation. Somewhere in my mind a voice had been whispering to me that I would never make it to Amsterdam, that something else was bound to go wrong. The man I spoke to earlier turns once again to me and smiles, I smile back and thank him and his companion again before I check for the fifth time that I have everything I need: Eurail Pass, reservations for this train, all my other train reservations, my money belt and passport. Check times four.

The train pulls up smoothly and I scan the digital signs on the doors uncomprehendingly and climb aboard at the nearest entrance. I see a woman scanning her ticket and comparing it to compartment numbers in the hallway to my left. Figuring she looks like she knows what she is doing I approach, "Entschuldigung, kennen Sie wo..." (Excuse me, ma'am, do you know where...) I trail off, giving her a desperate look and holding up my ticket. She looks at it and responds,

"Ach, ja, your car is 25, you must go two or three towards the back." I thank her and push ponderously past, all my packs making movement in the narrow halls difficult. I pass all manner of bedded compartments before finally arriving at my car, which has no beds, just six seated compartments that strongly remind me of Harry Potter. I find my compartment - number 55 and my seat - 5 and I smile. Thousands of miles from home and my family's favorite number reaches out to comfort me. I neatly place my bags on the shelves and stretch, stepping out into the hallway as the train pulls away from the station. I watch the few people left standing on the platform as they way and walk alongside. I have no one to wave to so I instead watch the station slide away. The windows are down and my hair whips back as the train picks up speed. There is, I think, something to be said for these bullet trains. I gaze out at the empty streets, listening to the wind blow.

Someone comes up on my left side, a guy, looking to be only slightly older than me. I say hello, observing that he has come out of the compartment next to mine. He says hi back and my ears prick up at his accent. His brownish skin and black hair have me placing him geographically somewhere south of Mexico in my head. I venture a few English words and his face lights up.

"I am so glad you speak English!" he says effusively, "I don't speak German and the lady in my cabin can't talk to me." I laugh and invite him to sit with me in my cabin for a little bit. I find out that his name is Rodrigo, and that he's from Brazil. He is also going onto Amsterdam and has no alarm clock to wake him up. I make the offer to rouse him in the morning as my mobile has an alarm that I fervently hope will work.

We talk a little longer about our travels until I let on that I am tired and am thinking about sleeping. He says his good nights and sets off in search of the dining car and I close the compartment door behind him. There is not much to do to ready myself for sleep, I'll sleep in the clothes that I have on. I give a passing though to writing in my book for a while but the weight of my eyelids indicates that my body is finally giving out on me.

"Alright," I murmur to myself, "I hear you, you win." I take off my sneakers and place them under the seats. I have kept all of my things meticulously tidy, my mother would approve. It appears that I will have to cabin to myself, so I switch off the light and draw the curtains, then stretch out across all three of the seats on the left side of the cabin. I set my alarm for 7:15, and with a stern look at my mobile I set it next to my head.

The darkened cabin is cold, the wind rattling past the window. I curl into myself tightly attempting to keep warm and let my thoughts drift where they will. I wonder what everyone at home would think if they could see me now, my family, my parents, Nick.

Hurtling through the darkened German countryside on a train that I happened to catch by sheer luck after every other travel arrangement I had made went afoul was not how I envisioned my backpacking adventures commencing. But now, I thought, I know I can do it.

I lay in the dark, embracing the surreal feeling I have about my surroundings. I lay, listening to my playlist form Nick and drift off into a restless sleep. I wonder what everyone at home is doing, I think drowsily, I hope they're proud of me.




Hope you enjoyed that. I wanted to put it up here to give people they chance to experience what I have, or as Cathi and Jenna have put it, live vicariously through me. I don't usually post things that are overly personal on the internet, but for those who have been reading my blog all summer, I'll make an exception.

Crazy life, fueled by crazy dreams,

Love to all at home,
*Miranda

Happy Fourth of July!

I spend a LOT of time in this internet cafe. Well, at least I have today. I came here earlier to work on things for my job at home and to catch up on my emails and I ended up sitting on skype for three freaking hours. Now, I just got done with a run and I promised my mother that I would get some pictures uploaded to my snapfish account so she could see them, so I'm forgoing sleep to keep that promise. I forgot my memory card when I came earlier today.

I know that I should be out enjoying the city instead of sitting in front of a computer, but going online and accomplishing some work and going for a run was actually my whole game plan for today. It's my day off of school, so I decided to use it to my advantage and do some work that I've been putting off for far too long - answering emails and dealing with my employees who have recently discovered that they don't have work study for next semester and hiring more to replace those I'll lose.

I'm excited for next year. I really like moving and my new apartment is going to be amazing. I've bought somethings here in Europe that I'll use as decoratations and I know that I'll be putting a million pictures all over the walls. I'm sure that the month August is going to be a major headache what with familierizing myself with my desk, coming up with a training program for my staff, planning out the physical enviroment and furniture around the desk area, bugging the RD of Facilities for essentials that he'll say aren't so essential, working with my boss Jason and the new housing staff in the building.... man I'm going to be so busy. It's okay, I work better when things are chaotic.

I'm sure things will go smoothly, I just have to battle that little nagging voice in my head that says you're going to faaaaail. You're not good enough to do this joooob. Apparently the voice in my head likes to speak in a creepy ghost moan.

Anyways, back to the present where my mind belongs. The weather was terrible today in Berlin. It rained for almost the whole day and the times that it wasn't raining it was overcast. It's okay though, this weekend should make up for it - I'm going with Jessica and Adj to Madrid and the weather is forcasted to be high nineties and sunny all three days. I can work on re-browning my skin! Gotta get that flip-flop tan line back, it's my favourite.

I hope anyone who reads this has an amazing fourth of July, celebrate for me because I've got nothing going on tonight. I'm just going to head to bed and then get up and go to the IES center so I can finish writing my paper about my trip to Auschwitz for my Jewish History class.

Nothing really groundbreaking in this entry, there will be more to write after I get back from Madrid!

Love to all at home,
Miranda

Back in Berlin!

Hey there faithful readers. I'm back in Berlin, not as sick as I used to be and winding down from my Berlin Literature test that I just took. I know I got one of the essays wrong, but I think I did well on the other two. My grammar was atrocious, but thank goodness she's not looking at that at all.

I must state here that Staci Molinar is an incredible friend. I walked into IES today and Britta handed me a letter from her. I LOVE getting mail! Thank you, babe!

Poland was really fun this weekend. The trip started off a little bumpy with a fight with a friend, but he and I were able to sit down and talk things out, smoothing everything over between the two of us, which I am extremely glad about. The train ride was super long, much longer than it should have been. We sat at a station in Poland for about 2 and a half hours in the middle of the night waiting for a train from the north to bring us passengers.

We finally got into Krakow around 11 o'clock and did some sightseeing with our tour guide. I'm not used to traveling in a big group so this was a different experience for me. I'm also not used to staying in an actual hotel, which was a super nice change. (being provided with towels and bedding? AND complimentary breakfast?! Heaven!)

Krakow had a really pretty old town and we spent some time there on a tour, and then just walking around and buying some souvenirs and presents. I think I have an actual obsession with buying presents for people when I'm on vacation. It's one of my favorite things to do when I come back from a trip and open up a suitcase full of presents. Bam! Christmas!

On Friday we went on a day trip to the concentration camp Auschwitz and Auschwitz II (Birkenau). I don't think that there was anything I could have done to have prepared me for it and I was not ready for it by any stretch of the imagination. On the bus on the way to the camp I put myself in the mindset that I was going to approach this objectively, from a learning standpoint, and not get overemotional about it. I was going to look at it from a historical context. That failed the minute I entered the first barracks. Walking through with the tour guide and listening to her explain how the extermination of the Jews and other prisoners proceeded I couldn't do anymore than stare wide-eyed at the displays in front of me. At one point, I felt the tears beginning to run down my cheeks, one at a time as I gazed in horror at everything I saw. What pushed me to crying was the deception used by the Nazis, telling the Jews that they were going to a better place, having them bring their valuables and belongings with them, telling them to mark their suitcases so they would be able to find them again. In the southern countries the Nazis sold the Jews tickets to Auschwitz, under the pretense of a better life. After Auschwitz II (Birkenau) was build, the Nazis would force some of the arriving Jews to write postcards home to their families that were still there telling them to make the journey as well, but postdate them by a week. By the time the postcards were sent out and the families received them, "Greetings from Auschwitz, wish you were here" those who had written them had already perished in the gas chambers.

Some of the displays in the barracks were almost too much for me to handle. They had enormous cases the size classrooms filled with suitcases with the names still on them, cookware that the Jews had brought for their new life; an entire hallway, with glass on both sides that had behind it thousands upon thousands of pairs of shoes. In one room, there was a glass the length of the entire wall and behind it was piles upon piles of human hair. The Nazi's saved everything. The hair was used to make fabric for the German people.

It finally got to the point that I was past even crying, almost past all emotion. I stumbled through the barracks, falling behind the group, just looking around at everything I saw, just feeling numb.

It was one of the most moving experiences of my life. I will never forget everything that I saw, and all of the horrors that were told to me. I think that every world leader, every person in any position of power should visit Auschwitz upon coming into office. I think that it would hopefully cause them to think a lot harder about the consequences of their actions, and perhaps make the world a bit more of a compassionate place.

However, to end with hope.
Friday night we had dinner at the hotel and then went out into the old city to do a little more sightseeing/souvenir buying and one of the 'chaperone' (in the loosest sense of the word) guys from IES took us to the Jewish quarter for a festival that was going on. There was an amazing Kelzmer band playing on a rooftop in the middle of a square. I suddenly realized that the neighborhood that I was standing in, with the packed square full of happy, celebrating people and loud Jewish music floating over our heads, is the neighborhood from the massacre in the movie Schindler's List. I took a moment to take in everything around me, to look at the buildings and remember the visions of death that I had seen in the movie, still fresh in my mind because I watched it for the first time in class last week. Then, I turned my eyes back to the celebration in front of me, to the drink in my hand that I had just purchased from the most famous Jewish bar in Krakow, to the sounds of laughter and applause, and most importantly to the music of the Jewish festival that filled the streets and banished the thoughts of death from my mind, filling it instead with hope.

Love to all at home,
Miranda

These pictures are for my parents, they were taken in the old town square in Krakow:

How fitting in the Fatherland, eh?

:)